Tuesday, April 4, 2017

The sentence of either/or

This is not the desert island. This is the enforced incarceration. Due to politically correct unsoundness as determined by my browsing history as lawfully shared with advertisers by my ISP and in qua modo duly determined by said advertisers to be unsusceptible to advertising, I am being put away for a Rip Van Winkle period--20 years. It is hoped that at the end of this time I will either be incorrect or dead. My jailors, in a show of kindness and mercy that put me in mind of Abu Ghraib, have given me a "choice" as to the music I will listen to during that time--at least once a day, according to the terms of my improvement plan. I will not be able to listen to anything else. While I might rather choose Bach or Scruggs or Beatles or Beyoncé, my jailors in their somewhat blinkered (foreshortened?), baby-boomer view of things have limited my choices to the following:

Cheap Thrills by Big Brother and the Holding Company (Janis Joplin et al. (not Kooper)) or Disraeli Gears by Cream (Messrs. Baker, Bruce, and Clapton). 

In their kindness and mercy that put me in mind of the Inquisitional auto da fe at the stake, I am allowed to seek the advice of my online social network. This is what things have come to. If you love me, please tell me which of these albums, heard once a day, is more likely to see me through 20 years of solitary confinement. And why. The why is the most important part. And please don't say "God's got this" or I will flip out, or a coin.


  1. Cream. Love Janis but everyday and I'm afraid that voice would start to get on my nerves.

  2. Disraeli Gears, especially if you have good pitch. Big Brother is out of tune in a lot of those tracks.